A: DAM!
| Two rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. I mean they spend a fortune! The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish. As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?" The other guy says, "Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't catch any more!" |
A man went fishing one day. He looked over the side of his boat and saw a snake with a frog in its mouth. feeling sorry for the frog, he reached down, gently took the frog from the snake, and set the frog free. But then he felt sorry for the snake. He looked around the boat, but he had no food. All he had was a bottle of bourbon. So he opened the bottle and gave the snake a few shots. The snake went off happy, the frog was happy, and the man was happy to have performed such good deeds. He thought everything was great until about ten minutes passed and he heard something knock against the side of the boat. With stunned disbelief, the fisherman looked down and saw the snake was back with two frogs!
A Real Fisherman
It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been in a terrible accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU. The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was, and that he'd be there as soon as possible. As he hung up he realized he was leaving what was shaping up to be his best day ever on the water.
He decided to get in a couple of more casts before heading to the hospital. He ended up fishing the rest of the morning, finishing his trip with a stringer like he'd never seen, with 3 bass over 10 pounds. He was jubilant.
Then he remembered his wife. Feeling guilty, he dashed to the hospital. He saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about his wife's condition.
The doctor glared at him and shouted, "You went ahead and finished your fishing trip didn't you! I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself on the pond, your wife has been anguishing in the ICU! It's just as well you went ahead and finished, because it will be more than likely the last fishing trip you ever take! For the rest of her life she will require 'round the clock care. And you'll be her care giver forever!"
The man was feeling so guilty he broke down and sobbed.
He decided to get in a couple of more casts before heading to the hospital. He ended up fishing the rest of the morning, finishing his trip with a stringer like he'd never seen, with 3 bass over 10 pounds. He was jubilant.
Then he remembered his wife. Feeling guilty, he dashed to the hospital. He saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about his wife's condition.
The doctor glared at him and shouted, "You went ahead and finished your fishing trip didn't you! I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself on the pond, your wife has been anguishing in the ICU! It's just as well you went ahead and finished, because it will be more than likely the last fishing trip you ever take! For the rest of her life she will require 'round the clock care. And you'll be her care giver forever!"
The man was feeling so guilty he broke down and sobbed.
The doctor then chuckled and said, "I'm just pulling your leg. She's dead. What'd you catch?"
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